Monthly Archives: March 2013

Prepping

For those new to me, you will learn that even though I do not think I am like those on the hit tv show “Doomsday Preppers”,  I do have a nice pantry full of things to sustain me and my family in the event of an emergency and power outages and such where we will have to survive on our own for a time. Why do I do it?

First of all, it is important for people to realize that if some thing happened in your area, such as a tornado, and power was out for more than a week, how would you survive? Where I live that is a real threat. So, I prepare.

Ihave a bug out bag or BOB ready in case I need to evacuate. In my BOB, I have supplies that can last me at least a week. If I don’t have to evacuate, I can last for six months, even with no power. I have prepared.

I am not some crazed person. I truly see that after katrina and sandy, we cannot rely on the government to help us out of situations. We need to be able to sustain ourselves. No more, no less.  I do not own a gun. I do not have some bunker. However, I do have knowledge and a fair amount of supplies to survive a major event. Yes, it brings me peace of mind.

Do you do this? I began this journey by couponing and getting huge quantities of foods for free. I decided to expand this couponing and to include the supplies for an emergency. It was a natural to flow from one to the other. Oh, and my faith also recommends it for our followers. It was a no brainer.  That’s how I feel, what’s your take? Do you think about things like this?

Trusting Ourselves

This is a really good post that i read on a friends blog and wanted to share it here. It makes a lot of sense.

Passive Aggressive Abuse

On March 13th, I wrote a post about “Trust.”

The March 14th reading in “The Language of Letting Go,” is:

Trusting Ourselves

Trust can be one of the most confusing concepts in recovery.  Who do we trust?  For what?

The most important trust issue we face is learning to trust ourselves. The most detrimental thing that’s happened to us is that we came to believe we couldn’t trust ourselves.

There will be some who tell us we cannot trust ourselves, we are off base and out of whack.  There are those who would benefit by our mistrusting ourselves.

Fear and doubt are our enemies.  Panic is our enemy.  Confusion is our opposition.

Self-trust is a healing gift we can give ourselves.  How do we acquire it?  We learn it.  What do we do about our mistakes, about those times we thought we could trust ourselves but were wrong? …

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Take the Emotional Abuse Quiz

Emotional Abuse Quiz

Walking on Eggshells

Millions of relationships walk on eggshells, with the partners in constant dread that the other will set them off – push their buttons – or make them feel disregarded, rejected, unattractive, incompetent, inadequate, or afraid.

There is a proven way out of this painful pattern that eventually destroys relationships. Start the healing process by taking the Emotional Abuse Quiz.

This quiz is from the website http://compassionpower.com/EmotionalAbuseQuiz.php 

This is an older post from my other blog but feel it is worthy of reblogging.

Daily Living With Lupus

For years I have felt like I was locked into a never ending cycle of extreme highs then extreme lows that were accompanied by personal attacks on my speech, the way I dressed, and even when I slept! If I forgot a meal, or did not feel good, ridicule was the order of the day.

I have been told that I am lazy because I did not keep an immaculate house, and if I did keep up with it, then there was always another area to be picked on. While all of this was occurring, you add alcohol to the mix and the situation gets more dangerous because an alcoholic blacks out and cannot remember what really happened and is quite capable of violence physically.

I lived this for many many years and did not realize just how destructive it had been to me and my health.

I share this…

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Spotting the Signs of Emotional Abuse

I found this information on the website http://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/spotting-the-signs-of-emotional-abuse.aspx

Are you or is a loved one experiencing emotional abuse? Know what to look for and how to get help.

Emotional Health: Abuse
Medically reviewed by Lindsey Marcellin, MD, MPH
 

Emotional abuse is all about control — one person exerting control over the life of another. It can take many shapes and forms, some as subtle as damaging words uttered from one spouse to another, and some as overt as harsh, dominating shouts that are paired with physical abuse.

“Within the context of a relationship, the emotionally abusive person makes verbal attacks to one’s character and person,” says Penny B. Donnenfeld, PhD, a psychologist in private practice in New York City. “Communications from the emotional abuser are insulting, threatening, devaluing, mocking, controlling, critical, and undermining of self-esteem and worth. Often an abuser limits one’s access to friends and family or tries to induce a sense of mistrust in others.”

Since emotional abuse can occur in so many different ways, it’s often difficult for a loved one — or even the abusers themselves — to recognize the signs of emotional abuse. Making things worse is the fact that many victims of emotional abuse become “brainwashed” into believing that the abuser really cares for them.

“Most victims of abuse are ashamed. They may feel that they deserve to be mistreated or that no one understands how hard their boyfriend, husband, or parent tries to take care of them,” says David Sack, MD, the CEO of Promises Treatment Centers in California and the author of many journal articles on depression. “Their abuser has often isolated them through intimidation. They are reluctant to trust others because they fear angering their abuser.”

The Victims of Emotional Abuse

According to Dr. Donnenfeld, children are most frequently the victims of emotional abuse. These children are then more likely to go on to become victims of abuse themselves as adults. “I have also seen emotional abuse in the dating relationships of young teenagers,” says Sheila K. Collins, PhD, a psychotherapist and author of

Stillpoint: The Dance of Self-Caring and Self-Healing. “Here, inexperience and social pressure to be with someone popular may cause young girls to allow themselves to be intimidated and mistreated by their boyfriends.”

Another growing area of emotional abuse is among the elderly, adds Donnenfeld. “In light of the increasing number of people living longer and the percentage of seniors developing dementia or dependent on their children for care, the prevalence of elder emotional abuse is increasing,” she says.

Watch Out for These Signs

The signs of emotional abuse can sometimes be difficult to spot. The most obvious, of course, is if you see or hear one person in a relationship being openly verbally abusive to the other one.

Look for the more subtle signs, too. “The person is often frightened of the abuser or fearful of angering or displeasing the abuser,” says Donnenfeld. “As a result, actions and access are controlled, and the person often seems to have no freedom or capacity to make independent decisions.” She adds that the victim of emotional abuse judges everything according to how the abuser will react to it — whether it’s with approval, disapproval, or rage. The victim may also withdraw from friends and family without warning, often at the request of the abuser.

Keep in mind that you may never witness the abuse within a relationship, but you may notice the effects of emotional abuse in a friend or loved one. “In some situations, the abuse takes place behind closed doors, so then you may observe the victim’s loss of self-confidence, depression, or sleeping or eating disorders,” says Dr. Collins.

How to Help Someone in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

If you believe that a friend or a loved one is in an emotionally abusive relationship, you can help them to get through the adverse effects of emotional abuse. Here’s how:

  • Start with subtlety. “If you are overtly critical of the suspected abuser, it makes it less likely the victim will trust you with her secret,” says Dr. Sack. “Sometimes the best that one can do is to offer a sympathetic ear and an assurance of safety if they ever find themselves needing it.”
  • Help them disconnect. “In a romantic relationship where this is happening, recovery involves stepping back enough to question the truths and assumptions that they have,” says Donnenfeld. “This will entail moving away from the abuser and seeking others who can give a more balanced and less personally motivated perspective on the person’s strengths and weaknesses.”
  • Suggest they seek help. This is certainly not an easy process, so the person may need therapy to work through their issues and overcome the abuse. “Psychotherapy with a mental health professional is an important component of help to ensure that changes are made in the person’s life to prevent abuse from occurring again,” says Richard Shadick, PhD, a psychologist and director of the Counseling Center at Pace University in New York.
  • Seek outside help. If you are concerned for the person’s safety, do not hesitate to seek outside help if needed. “Physical safety is the primary concern. If someone is being physically abused, they should take steps to ensure that they are out of harm’s way by finding a safe place to stay and receive support that they need from a trusted person,” says Shadick. “Once in a safe place, the person should connect with supportive services for abused individuals.”
  • Receive continuing care. “It is a difficult process of breaking free,” says Donnenfeld. “The person needs a lot of support and can benefit from being in therapy or part of a support group as well.”

Emotional abuse can be subtle, but once recognized, it can be dealt with in several positive ways.

Learn more in the Everyday Health Emotional Health Center.

Last Updated: 07/14/2010

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Daily Living With Lupus

Borrowed from my fellow blogger… everynowandthen! Wow!

Emotionally and Verbally Abusive Passive Aggressive Men

Do you find your partner losing his cool over things that are out of your control? Does your partner blame and punish you for things that happen to him even though you had no role in it? Does your partner bring up past issues to deflect you from the issue at hand? Does your partner make accusations about you that have no truth to them? Does your partner resort to humiliation, cursing and threatening you? Does your partner mock you, parrot you and twist your words? Do you find your partner getting sullen suddenly and seem depressed or angry about small insignificant events? Does he ignore the real issues that need attention and ignore them completely? Does your partner complain constantly of you not appreciating him? Is he or she never satisfied no matter how much …

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Road Trip

Well, my neice is having her first baby and she lives in Louisville. We drove down to my sister in laws house to stay until the shower. She lives outside of Lexington. I am really looking forward to the shower and seeing my neice pregnant in person. I have only seen pictures to this point so I really want to see her. 

The trip started out pretty well. The drive was not bad, we missed rush hour in Cincinnati which is always a good thing. We got down here and this is where it gets interesting. Road trips lately seem to aggravate my sciatica and so sure enough, it acted up. This made me unsteady (or more unsteady than usual). I laid down to rest it and needed to get back up. I called for my husband to help me and he said he was eating. I decided to get up on my own. I rolled off the bed and promptly fell onto my left side. I yelled for help and finally got up and dusted myself off and thought it was a one off. I was wrong.

When I went to bed, I fell asleep and woke to acid reflux. What fun!! I took meds and had to sit up until they went into effect. The short version is that I was up most of the night last night. I finally get back into bed around 6:30 am. 

At 10:00 I was awakened by my husband asking me to get up and cook his breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. I got up and did that and basically discovered that I hurt pretty bad from my fall. I tried to get a nap later this afternoon, but it just was not gong to happen. I am really hurting on my left arm and shoulder plus my rib cage and left knee. Hey, I do not do things halfway. Crazy.

Don’t get me wrong, I am having a great time visiting with family. I am just doing it in more than the usual amount of pain. Oh, and my blood pressure is high. My feet are swelling and did I mention pain on my left side?  

So my first day and night have been eventful to say the least. Here’s hoping tomorrow will be better.