Have you had it with passive aggressive men? Are you sick of the mind games and the endless feeling of walking on broken glass? Do you wonder if it’s even worth your time to pursue a relationship with a man who makes life difficult with his tricks and games? These men use some complicated tactics to get what they want. If you are involved with this kind of guy, you might be wondering if you can change him – and you might also be wondering if you should cut your losses and move on.
What Is Passive Aggression?
A truly passive-aggressive person suffers from apersonality disorder that is marked by some very specific behaviors – or lack of behaviors. Many people have varying levels of tendency toward this disorder, and many of those do not even realize that the way they behave at times can cause trouble with their various relationships. Others are well aware of the way their mentality works, and they use it to their perceived advantage – as a weapon against people they are involved with in various areas of life.
Often, the people who have this disorder are very personable and charismatic, especially at the beginning of a relationship. You may have had fun together, felt like you knew each other instantly, and become very close very quickly. This is just one reason why it can be so frustrating to deal with a person like this once things turn sour.
How These Troubled Men Cause Relationship Damage
Here is a short list of some of the ways passive aggressive men wreak havoc in a relationship. Some of these situations may sound familiar to you.
• Lack of Responsibility and Excuses – People who display the traits associated with this disorder very often make excuses for everything. They often refuse to take responsibility for their own actions, and they have a tendency to blame things that they are responsible for on other people – they often blame their wives and girlfriends for things these women have nothing to do with.
• Learned Helplessness and Victimhood – Passive aggressive men often play the “poor me” or victim role. This goes hand in hand with a lack of personal accountability.
• Obstructionism and Interference – If you have noticed that your husband or boyfriend tends to seem to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time, or has a tendency to interfere in things he has no business interfering in, then it’s likely he has some tendency toward the problem. Although passive aggressive men are capable of loving, they very often have difficulty trusting the judgment of others, and they have trouble with intimacy. This is extremely frustrating to deal with.
• Intentionally Causing Chaos – If things seem to be going a bit more smoothly than normal, you should be on the lookout for intentional chaos. This can be as minor as a dropped bag of groceries, followed by him blaming you and intentionally picking a fight – or it can be something major.
What To Do If You Are Involved With A Man Who Has These Tendencies
Mild passive-aggressiveness can be difficult to live with, while a severely disordered person can be a nightmare to deal with. Often, people who suffer from the inability to emote normally are the way they are because they were never allowed to express their true feelings as children. They developed a habit of internalizing everything, and they are often filled with repressed feelings of anger and frustration.
Sometimes this leads to emotional, verbal, or physical abuse.
A mental health practitioner can help a person with tendencies toward passive aggression to realize that they are causing damage within their relationships, and over time, can help that person to live a more normal life. If your loved one is willing to accept help then seek the assistance he needs. If not, reevaluate your relationship. You may be happier elsewhere.
This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.