Category Archives: Life

Summer is Here!

I am thinking that summer may actually be here again! We have had some starts and stops but I think it has settled in for the season. I love summer! I wish it loved me.

As a lupus patient, I need to limit my sun time because it can cause my flare to go major!!! Not a fun way to spend summer. Actually, this year, summer will be shortened because in July or August I am having major surgery on my GI tract. I am not sure when but it is coming and looming in my mind too. I am doing what I call “marinating” about it. I am trying not to think about it. You know, the Scarlett O’Hara syndrome. It keeps me sane to do it this way.

In the meantime, I finally got to go to a meeting last Sunday instead of listening on the phone. It was so nice to see everyone and shake hands and fell their presence. It lifted me up spiritually as well. Various ones stop by and visit me but it was nice to be seated and listening to the discourse with my brothers and sisters around me. It really is good medicine.

So far though, allergies are really bad! I hear from others that it is the same way for them too. Even though I do not get out much, they are still plaguing me. Is it me or does it seem to get worse every year?

Otherwise, I am hoping to post more because I have learned to use my smart phone app and post from it now. Makes it easy to post. I was intimidated by it but not anymore.

I sincerely hope you are all well and enjoying your summer. I am going to give it a great try!

I’m Back!

Hello! I am back! I have been missing for a bit but had a few moments to blog a little bit. Things have been a bit rough around my home lately. I have been hurting, and trying to get this walk team sorted out, order our t-shirts, work on the house, and much  more that I cannot disclose at this time. Just suffice to say it’s been rough.

I hope you are all enjoying the warmth of these days! Here in Ohio, we have bipolar weather. It goes from 80 in the afternoon down into the 40’s at night. Makes your body hurt if you are like me and have lupus. Just about the time I get used to one it swings back the other way! So, here I sit, waiting for the rain to start that will usher in the cold front with chilly weather back into our area.

Anyway, I am still here and promise to get some posts going again soon! Thanks for hanging with me while I go through this difficult time. Thanks!

Sweet and Saltines aka Crack

Sweet and Saltines

Recipe adapted from Home Cooking with Trisha Yearwood (c) Clarkson Potter 2010
Show: Trisha’s Southern KitchenEpisode: Daddy’s Famous Stew
Recipe categories: Chocolate, Sugar, more
Recipe Ratings & Reviews(167)

Photo: Sweet and Saltines Recipe
Rated stars out of 5
Rate This Recipe
Read 167 Reviews
Total Time:
35 min
Prep
5 min
Inactive
20 min
Cook
10 min
Yield:
20 servings
Level:
Easy

Ingredients
Cooking spray
35 to 40 saltine crackers
2 sticks (1 cup) butter
1 cup light brown sugar
8 ounces semisweet chocolate chips (about 1 1/3 cups)
Directions
Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F.

Line 1 large or 2 small jelly-roll pans with aluminum foil, spray with nonstick spray and arrange the saltines salt-side down in a single layer. In a medium saucepan, melt the butter and brown sugar together and boil until it turns a caramel color, a few minutes. Remove from the heat and pour over the crackers, covering them evenly.

Put the jelly-roll pan into the oven and bake for 3 to 5 minutes, or until just bubbly, watching carefully. Remove from the oven and pour the chocolate chips over the crackers. When the chips melt a bit, spread them over the crackers with a knife.

Transfer the pan to the freezer for 15 to 20 minutes, or until completely cold. They will form one big sheet. Break up into pieces. Store in an airtight container.

Read more at: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/sweet-and-saltines-recipe/index.html?oc=linkback

Understanding Passive Aggressive Men

Another interesting read. I found this one at http://www.ehow.com/how_4556764_understanding-passive-aggressive-men.html. I am on a roll here. I am trying to find information and post it here in one place. This subject is near to me as I live with a PA husband who is an alcoholic and bipolar as well. Hence the interest here. I hope it will help at least one person. Maybe even me.

 

By Glenda Taylor, eHow Contributor

Understanding Passive Aggressive Men thumbnail

Protect your own self-esteem when dealing with a passive aggressive man.

Men with Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder (PAPD) exhibit resentful behaviors, making living with a PAPD sufferer difficult. Some men with PAPD also show signs of other mental disorders, including depression, anxiety, a tendency toabuse alcohol or drugs, and an increased risk of suicidal thoughts. Understanding a man who suffers with PAPD is imperative for a friendship or family relationship to be successful.

Instructions

    • 1

      Encourage men with PAPD to express their feelings of resentment. For many of these men, their cycle of emotionally destructive behavior began in childhood when they did not express anger towards parents, teachers or society over what they felt was unfair treatment. In counseling, these men are encouraged to bring those long-hidden events and feelings to the surface and share their emotions.

    • 2

      React to angry outbursts with calm logic to keep from escalating the situation. Passive-aggressive behavior takes the form of sarcasm and hurtful insults when the person is feeling anxious or angry. Instead of fueling the hurtful comments, try deflating the attack by expressing your own feelings. When confronted with an insult, explain that you feel the comment is unfair and that you don’t deserve it. Begin statements with the words, “I feel.”

    • 3

      Lower your expectations. Unfortunately, living with a passive-aggressive male is not a recipe for bliss. These men often find it hard to hold a full-time job, and they view the actions and comments of others as a direct attack on them. However, there are varying degrees of the disorder, and men who suffer from borderline PAPD may learn to control the condition in order to live somewhat successfully.

    • 4

      Set boundaries. In order to maintain your own self-esteem, establish boundaries and stick to them. For instance, determine in advance that name-calling is off-limits. When it occurs, immediately explain that it is counter-productive and that you will discuss the matter at another time when no name-calling is involved. Leave the room.

    • 5

      Network with other people who live with a PAPD sufferer. Being able to share your experiences and learn about those of others can empower the way you deal with a passive-aggressive man. Join a message board to discuss how PAPD has affected your life.

    • 6

      Learn all you can to better understand the behaviors of your passive-aggressive man. Encourage him to seek ongoing counseling. Attend the sessions with him. If he isn’t willing to go, attend by yourself. Check out, “Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man,” by Scott Wetzler (see Resources).

Tips & Warnings

  • Understanding that PAPD is a real mental disorder may make dealing with his behavior easier, but only if you safeguard your own feelings of self-worth.

  • Don’t allow yourself to become a victim of mental manipulation and emotional abuse. PAPD sufferers are rarely violent, but they use mental abuse to degrade their loved ones and manipulate them into catering to their unreasonable whims. If you can’t live happily despite all your efforts, consider a separation.

Read more: Understanding Passive Aggressive Men | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4556764_understanding-passive-aggressive-men.html#ixzz2QEDOnDww

Passive Aggressive Men – How They Damage Relationships

I found this article at http://ezinearticles.com/?Passive-Aggressive-Men—How-They-Damage-Relationships&id=5500109. It was a great read, short and sweet but full of information everyone can use. Enjoy!

 

By 

Expert Author Tina L. Jones

Have you had it with passive aggressive men? Are you sick of the mind games and the endless feeling of walking on broken glass? Do you wonder if it’s even worth your time to pursue a relationship with a man who makes life difficult with his tricks and games? These men use some complicated tactics to get what they want. If you are involved with this kind of guy, you might be wondering if you can change him – and you might also be wondering if you should cut your losses and move on.

What Is Passive Aggression?

A truly passive-aggressive person suffers from apersonality disorder that is marked by some very specific behaviors – or lack of behaviors. Many people have varying levels of tendency toward this disorder, and many of those do not even realize that the way they behave at times can cause trouble with their various relationships. Others are well aware of the way their mentality works, and they use it to their perceived advantage – as a weapon against people they are involved with in various areas of life.

Often, the people who have this disorder are very personable and charismatic, especially at the beginning of a relationship. You may have had fun together, felt like you knew each other instantly, and become very close very quickly. This is just one reason why it can be so frustrating to deal with a person like this once things turn sour.

How These Troubled Men Cause Relationship Damage

Here is a short list of some of the ways passive aggressive men wreak havoc in a relationship. Some of these situations may sound familiar to you.

• Lack of Responsibility and Excuses – People who display the traits associated with this disorder very often make excuses for everything. They often refuse to take responsibility for their own actions, and they have a tendency to blame things that they are responsible for on other people – they often blame their wives and girlfriends for things these women have nothing to do with.

Learned Helplessness and Victimhood – Passive aggressive men often play the “poor me” or victim role. This goes hand in hand with a lack of personal accountability.

Obstructionism and Interference – If you have noticed that your husband or boyfriend tends to seem to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time, or has a tendency to interfere in things he has no business interfering in, then it’s likely he has some tendency toward the problem. Although passive aggressive men are capable of loving, they very often have difficulty trusting the judgment of others, and they have trouble with intimacy. This is extremely frustrating to deal with.

• Intentionally Causing Chaos – If things seem to be going a bit more smoothly than normal, you should be on the lookout for intentional chaos. This can be as minor as a dropped bag of groceries, followed by him blaming you and intentionally picking a fight – or it can be something major.

What To Do If You Are Involved With A Man Who Has These Tendencies

Mild passive-aggressiveness can be difficult to live with, while a severely disordered person can be a nightmare to deal with. Often, people who suffer from the inability to emote normally are the way they are because they were never allowed to express their true feelings as children. They developed a habit of internalizing everything, and they are often filled with repressed feelings of anger and frustration.
Sometimes this leads to emotional, verbal, or physical abuse.

A mental health practitioner can help a person with tendencies toward passive aggression to realize that they are causing damage within their relationships, and over time, can help that person to live a more normal life. If your loved one is willing to accept help then seek the assistance he needs. If not, reevaluate your relationship. You may be happier elsewhere.

 

This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tina_L._Jones

Marriage and Hidden Hostility

I found this on the webpage http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201302/is-hidden-hostility-derailing-your-marriage. I am learning more about  this and thought I would share it.
3 Strategies for Improving Communication with your Passive Aggressive Spouse
Published on February 18, 2013 by Signe Whitson, L.S.W. in Passive Aggressive Diaries

You sense that your husband is harboring feelings of anger at you, but you don’t know what is motivating his hostility. You’ve tried asking him if he is angry, but his standard response is to deny such feelings, then continue to withdraw and sulk.

You know the routine, because you’ve been down this road countless times before. Though uncomfortable with expressing his angry feelings directly, your spouse persistently lets you know about his resentments through passive aggressive means. How can you disengage from this destructive dynamic of unspoken anger and covert hostility? Here are three tips to improve communication with your passive aggressive spouse:

1. Affirm the Anger

Some people spend their lives guarding against any acknowledgement of their anger. One of the most powerful ways to improve communication in a relationship is to be willing to point out anger directly, when it is present in a situation. Anger should be called on by name in factual, non-judgmental statements, such as, “It seems to me that the issue is that you are angry at me right now.” This simple direct approach can be profound.

2. Manage the Denial

Your goal is to openly acknowledge the anger that has been closed off and kept secret for too long. Expect that once this has been done, your spouse will deny his angry feelings. When he does, it is helpful to accept his defenses in the moment, with a response such as, “It was just a thought I wanted to share with you.

It is not necessary to argue with his denial at this time. Rather, back away from further discussion, leaving your spouse with the knowledge that you are aware of the anger that underlies his behavior. Now, your husband knows that his emotional mask has been lifted and the door has been opened for future discussion about his underlying anger.

3. Re-Visit the Thought

Confrontation of passive aggression is not a once-and-done cure for the behavior, but rather an approach whose best results come from repetition. When the dynamic is re-played (and it will be!), re-visit the thought with another affirming statement such as:

Remember when I mentioned I thought you were angry at me? Well, what just happened between us today seems similar to what happened last week. What do you think?

Again, it is not necessary to immediately argue the point, but rather it can be helpful to leave the passive aggressive person to process this thought for the time being. His is coming to understand and accept that his hidden anger is no longer a secret and he will need to communicate with you in a more emotionally honest way—or face the discomfort of the same type of conversation again and again.

Passive aggressive communication patterns can be even more destructive to marriages and families in the long term than outright aggression.  The advantage of this approach is the comfort of not having to justify or defend your acknowledgement of the anger. By simply sharing your awareness of his covert anger, you have sent a bold and powerful message that the passive aggressive behavior cannot continue and the relationship needs to change.

Signe Whitson, LSW is the author of The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces, 2nd ed.  For more information or workshop inquiries, please visitwww.signewhitson.com 

Prepping

For those new to me, you will learn that even though I do not think I am like those on the hit tv show “Doomsday Preppers”,  I do have a nice pantry full of things to sustain me and my family in the event of an emergency and power outages and such where we will have to survive on our own for a time. Why do I do it?

First of all, it is important for people to realize that if some thing happened in your area, such as a tornado, and power was out for more than a week, how would you survive? Where I live that is a real threat. So, I prepare.

Ihave a bug out bag or BOB ready in case I need to evacuate. In my BOB, I have supplies that can last me at least a week. If I don’t have to evacuate, I can last for six months, even with no power. I have prepared.

I am not some crazed person. I truly see that after katrina and sandy, we cannot rely on the government to help us out of situations. We need to be able to sustain ourselves. No more, no less.  I do not own a gun. I do not have some bunker. However, I do have knowledge and a fair amount of supplies to survive a major event. Yes, it brings me peace of mind.

Do you do this? I began this journey by couponing and getting huge quantities of foods for free. I decided to expand this couponing and to include the supplies for an emergency. It was a natural to flow from one to the other. Oh, and my faith also recommends it for our followers. It was a no brainer.  That’s how I feel, what’s your take? Do you think about things like this?